Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So much rum. So many feels.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
