I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
