he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
