You can't special order awesome
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
