Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize