Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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