neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
