Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
