right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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