Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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