love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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