Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
