I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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