Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
