i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
