and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
