this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
