escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
