Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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