Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
