it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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