went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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