All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
