this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
