I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize