i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
