just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
