are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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