Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
