Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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