And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
