I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
