i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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