thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
