CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
