sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
