We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
