Your face is a jimmy john
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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