Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My bed smells like the plague
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
