did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
