what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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