naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
