She is in my trunk
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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