I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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