That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
