So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
