I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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