I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
