I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
my poor anus
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
