Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
3pm strippers are depressing
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
