I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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