We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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