Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You're like the curious george of whores
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
