Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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