im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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