I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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