It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
